At the Foot of the Cross

John's Story

Written By Diana Sather crosses

My name is John.  I loved him so much.  He was my Lord my Master, and my Teacher, and now I watch as he is dying on the cross.  What a cruel death.  Why did it have to be the cross?

It had begun only yesterday.  This nightmare of horror.  It had begun at the supper.   The Passover supper that we all had together.  Jesus had broken the bread, and given us each a portion.  "This is my body that is broken for you," he had said.   "Do this in remembrance of me."  His words had seemed so strange.  But he always said strange things.  We didn't always understand him, but we knew that these things were important, and we loved him.  I was sitting at his side, when he told us that one of us would betray him.  I leaned over and asked him who it was, and he told me to watch who dipped his hand in the dish at the same time that he did.  That would be the man.   Judas was the man.  Judas left the room, and we didn't see him again until we were in the garden.

Jesus went to the Garden to pray, and took some of us with him.  We were so tired, and even though it was obvious that Jesus was extremely disturbed, we dozed off.  He came over to us, and shook us.  "Can't you even stand with me for one hour?" he chided.  Then he went off by himself again, and cried out, "Father, can you let this cup pass from me?"   I could see great drops of sweat pouring down his face, even like blood.  Then he bowed his head.  "But... Not my will... But thine be done."  And a peace seemed to come upon him like a cloak.  It almost seemed like angels were ministering to him.

And then came the men with the torches and Judas, with his kiss.  Jesus was taken, and all of us, every one of us ran.  I ran with the rest.  But later, I followed from a distance, and watched to see what they were doing with Jesus.  You have to understand, Jesus was my whole life.  I had been a simple fisherman, when Jesus had called to me one day, and invited me to follow Him.  I left everything that I had just for the opportunity to follow him, and now, my world was crumbling and he was dying, and nothing made sense any more.

At least I didn't do what Simon Peter did.  While we were waiting for the trial to end, some of the people outside in the courtyard questioned Peter, and he denied that he had even known Jesus.   The third time that they asked him, he started cursing like a common fellow.  But Peter never did know when to keep his mouth shut.

As we stood at the foot of that cross, I tried to comfort his mother, Mary.  I put my arm around her, and hoped that she could gain some small bit of strength from me, but I didn't feel very strong, either.  Jesus looked at us with those amazing eyes, now wracked with pain, and said, "Woman, behold your son," and indicated me.  "Behold thy mother," he said to me. I held her a little tighter, and nodded my head.  Yes, Jesus, I will take care of her.

I couldn't help but think of the Psalm of David:

"All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the LORD that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him...."   "They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion.  I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.  My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death.  For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have enclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet.  I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me.  They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture."

Everything in that Psalm happened to Jesus.  I had watched as they stripped him of his clothes, and shot dice and gambled to see who would win his clothing.  They stretched him out on that cross naked, and lifted him up for all the world to see.  Even one of the men that were crucified with him, mocked him.

I heart a heart wrenching cry as Jesus strained in agony.  "My God, My God!  Why have you forsaken me?"  I bowed my head, and couldn't help but wonder the same thing.   Where was God, through out this whole ordeal?  If this was His Son, why didn't He do something, and stop this?  How could a loving God watch His Son die on the cross?

What John and the rest of Jesus' disciples did not know was that his death was not the end of the story.   It was only the beginning.  It was because of His great love for us that Jesus died.  No man could take His life from Him, but he willingly laid it down for us, to make a way for us to be able to go to heaven.

Jesus did not stay dead, but He rose from the grave.  It was necessary for Jesus to die, in order pay the price for the sins of the whole world.  It was only through His blood being poured out, that any of us have the opportunity to go to heaven and to come into a real and vital relationship with God.

There is a separation that was placed between us and God because of sin, and when Jesus died on the cross, that separation was done away with forever.  If we receive the gift of salvation through His finished work on the cross, and confess with our mouth that Jesus is our Lord and Savior, we will go to heaven.  If you would like to know "for sure and forever" that heaven would be your home, should your life end, please pray this prayer with me.  You must believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for us, and that God raised Him from the dead, and mean this prayer from your heart.

"God in heaven, I know that I am a sinner, but I want to change that. Please forgive me of my sins, and make me clean again. I believe that Jesus is Your Son, that He paid the price for my sins when He died on the Cross, and You raised Him from the dead. Jesus, I invite you to come into my heart and my life. Please, be my Lord, and be my Savior. I thank You Jesus for saving me. I am born again, I am a child of God. I am gong to heaven someday, and Jesus is my Lord. amen"

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